Instead of telling yourself to lose all of your extra weight within a month, set a goal to swim or run a mile each day. Make sure that your goals are what you truly want. For instance, your goal on paper might be to get a raise at work, while you truly want to prove your parents wrong. [2] X Expert Source Jennifer ClarkLife Coach Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.

If your to-do list consists of things such as cleaning out the closet, taking the car to get inspected, and reorganizing the bedroom, you should focus on the thing that is most important — getting the car inspected.

Pay particular attention to preventative maintenance, whether that means checking the fluids in your car, restocking your pantry, or setting aside a bit of money in savings each week.

For example, if you’re stressing out about your son’s grades at school, you can’t make him get good grades. However, you can help him study for tests, make sure he’s getting enough sleep, and encourage him to take his grades seriously.

Instead of placing the blame on someone or something else when a problem arises, take ownership of the issue and work towards solving it yourself.

Create a plan, checklist, or routine to accomplish the task. Look for steps in the process you can eliminate, consolidate, or shorten.

If you see problems as things that can be fixed, you’ll find it much easier to come up with a solution. For example, if a co-worker has really bad body odor after exercising during their lunch break, you could kindly suggest that they shower at the gym or go to the gym after work. [8] X Expert Source Jennifer ClarkLife Coach Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.

If you’ve been spending time with someone who is negative, lazy, or similarly unmotivated, it’s time to put some distance between yourself and this person.

You can take deep breaths to calm yourself down during any situation where you’re feeling upset, whether communicating with someone or not.

Consider telling someone else all of the things you’re hoping to hold yourself accountable for. This person will help you stick to your goals and let you know when you could be doing better.

If you make promises you can’t keep or set unrealistic expectations, you’re going to disappoint yourself as well as others.

For example, if you can’t stop stressing and worrying about whether or not you’ll be getting a raise at work, set your mind to simpler tasks, such as fixing up the yard or doing the dishes. Talking to people you trust about the things that are worrying you can also be a great way to get some advice while relieving some of your stress. For instance, if someone is bullying you at work, you could sit down with an HR rep and explain what’s going on. [14] X Expert Source Jennifer ClarkLife Coach Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.

Never shy away from an opportunity to be in charge. Getting comfortable with taking responsibility for others will really help you grow as a person.

For example, if an employee or coworker is always showing up late to work, try to understand why this might be happening. Do they have children that need to be driven to school? Do they have reliable transportation? Try seeing the issue from their viewpoint. If someone is rude to you at work, try to remind yourself that everyone is doing the best that they can. Not everyone has emotional intelligence or a support system that makes them feel loved and appreciated. [17] X Expert Source Jennifer ClarkLife Coach Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.

Maybe someone didn’t respond to your text message — instead of assuming they just don’t want to talk to you, consider that they may be super busy or don’t have their phone on them.

When you start thinking negative thoughts, try to stop them as soon as you notice. Replace them with motivational, positive thoughts instead.