Traveling to a new place for a weekend getaway Taking a cooking or art class together Taking up a new hobby together like hiking or crossfit When we’re learning something new, it naturally evokes nervous and excited feelings, which is likely how you felt about your partner when you first met them. By doing a new shared activity together, you can reignite those old feelings you had when you first met. [3] X Expert Source Nicole MooreLove & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.
Bringing your partner coffee or breakfast in bed Leaving short love notes in their work bag or stuck to the bathroom mirror Revealing a secret stash of their favorite snacks after a hard day at work Planning a surprise date[6] X Expert Source Nicole MooreLove & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 6 October 2021. Treating them to dinner at a new restaurant[7] X Expert Source Nicole MooreLove & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.
A trip itinerary isn’t necessary. Strive for as much relaxing, unpressured time as possible so you can truly do whatever you want together in the moment.
Learning about someone is an ongoing process, not a to-do item you can check off. The spark will return as you start getting to know them again with fresh ears. Curiosity builds when you get time apart to have separate experiences. Bonding happens when you make time to get together and share those experiences.
Be very open—communicate your emotional, social, or sexual wants. It’s the first step of moving forward and reinvigorating your relationship. Being vulnerable by taking risks and opening up emotionally about your fears, joys, hopes, and dreams is extremely important. [11] X Expert Source Casey LeeLicensed Professional Counselor (LPC) Expert Interview. 20 June 2022. Be a good listener for your partner. Make them feel valued and understood so you can address their needs and strengthen your connection. Watch your partner’s body language during these talks. Their eye contact, tone, posture, gestures, or hand motions communicate even more about their feelings than their words do. For example, if they say “I’m not mad” with a clenched jaw, chances are they actually are mad.
You’ll get to see your partner the way you did in the past—mysterious, charming, new, and exciting. A good reenactment takes time and planning. That’s OK! Working together to set up your date will open you both up to getting in the right mindset when the time comes. If a full recreation is too complex, spend some quality time reminiscing about old times. Tell stories about how you met, what attracted you to each other, or when you knew you were in love.
“I love how you sing to yourself while you cook. ” “I love when you make a snow angel every time you shovel the driveway. ” “I love the way you misspell ‘achieve’ every time it comes up. ”
Make sure your body language matches your words. Eye contact plus a kiss, hug, or stroke of the face or lower back shows your partner you mean what you say.
“It would be amazing if you could stop answering work calls at home. ” “It would be amazing if we finally went on that Italian vacation we’ve been dreaming about. ” “It would be amazing if you’d let me spoil you now and then. ”
Going to an amusement park Watching a scary movie or psychological thriller Challenging each other to a race or other athletic competition
Challenge each other in video games Play games of wit or humor like Cards Against Humanity or Jackbox Games Add a sexy twist to a classic game, like strip poker
Cuddling on the couch during a rainy afternoon Holding your partner’s waist while you’re standing around at a party Placing your hand on your partner’s thigh while you’re sitting next to each other
Make a goal to reconnect physically regardless of whether sex is on the table or not. If spontaneity is not working, try scheduling sex dates for times when you’re both relaxed and receptive to intimacy. Keep your expectations low. When full intercourse isn’t the goal, performance anxiety is relieved and you have space to explore each other’s bodies and luxuriate in new sensations. [20] X Research source
Try a “no sex” day to let the tension build. [22] X Research source Dress in a way that makes you feel attractive. Keeping your work clothes on all evening can inhibit your arousal or energy for intimacy. [23] X Research source
Try activities that help you gain more personal insight and self-awareness, like meditation, journaling, or just changing up your daily routine. Make time every week to do something just for yourself. Even if you can only spare an hour or less, it’ll still work wonders for your relationship. [25] X Research source
Outside stressors can affect your relationship. During rough times, try not to take your problems out on your partner or to force a solution. Remain a team and problem solve together.
